Age old scars that tear themselves open again and again..

All of a sudden, I've been having the whole Gabrielle craze again. It seems seasonal, this time it feels worse or rather more severe than any of the other post Gabrielle rants. I'm drinking, doing anything to stop thinking about her. But no, the booze doesn't help anymore. And yes, she doesn't want me anymore. It's terribly and cruely ironic, the story that we share. I know that somehow I'm not exactly the kinda guy she's looking for. But just maybe there's that minute percentage that says I have a chance.

I would do anything, just to hold her again. To laugh at ourselves and just be how we used to be. Smoking, drinking, death metal- Surely it's all worth giving up for her. I just know she's the right one, the perfect missing piece to the uncompleted puzzle. And there she stands, at the end of the dark corridor, beckoning me to come closer. I'm tied, I'm tied! To the walls, chains around my arms, feet, neck. I can't move! She says that she has to go. NO! This can't be happening.

The Scorpions - Still Loving You

Time, it needs time To win back your love again
I will be there, I will be there Love, only love
Can bring back your love someday
I will be there, I will be thereI'll fight, babe, I'll fightTo win back your love again
I will be there, I will be there

Love, only love Can break down the walls somedayI will be there, I will be there
If we'd go again All the way from the start I would try to change
The things that killed our love Your pride has built a wall so strong
That I can't get throughIs there really no chance
To start once againI'm loving you
Try, baby, try To trust in my love again
I will be there, I will be there

Love, our love Just shouldn't be thrown awayI will be there, I will be thereIf we'd go again
All the way from the start I would try to change The things that killed our love
Your pride has built a wall so strong
That I can't get throughIs there really no chance To start once againIf we'd go again
All the way from the start I would try to change
The things that killed our love
Yes, I've hurt your pride and I know
What you've been through
You should give me a chance
This can't be the end I'm still loving you
I'm still loving, I need your love
I'm still loving you

A Toast To The Amber Ashen Skies..

Well, a long string of events have surpassed me- Just like that. It feels almost surreal that the all daunting O's have already passed me by. Like a house unscathed by a passing hurricane, like a lion walking by the gazelle nonchalantly. Somehow, it just doesn't feel the same.

Started work as a Production Assistant for this kids show titled Double Chin. Into their second season, the cast all seem almost too familiar with one another. So, new to the set- I'm sticking out like a sore thumb. Interning is hell. Yes yes, alot of on the job knowledge can be attained easilly and yes yes, the pay is hell man. However, I'm sticking with it.- for personal reasons.


Have you ever looked someone in the eye and felt a surge of adrenaline rush through your body? Trying to break eye contact with the person and yet again at the same time trying to just spend one more golden second locked in that gaze. I have and I'm telling you man. It beats weed, over boozing and that first unprofessional screw. Ahhh, I'm always falling in love/infatuation/crush. She's a talent meaning she's a actress, well sorta since she's like 15 or 16. I'm not much older. Anyway, she has these eyes that seem to grab you by your head and lock themselves into your eye line. And those lips, think Angelina Jolie man. Working with her is always fraught with caution, I'm constantly afraid that if she walks by me that by natural instinctive reaction I would just grab her and plant a big wet one on those lovely lips.

And again, it's something that would just never happen. The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, the golden feather of the peacock.

Back to the emo metal stuff, Sonata Artica and HIM here I come!